My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
