I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
i out mim tonsoeep
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