I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
