Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
