Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
