well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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