I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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