We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
