upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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