pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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