After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Two words: nipple clamps
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