i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
