I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
