oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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