Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
