I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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