she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Randomize
