all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
