I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
