So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
