dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
