"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
