Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
