That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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