Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
