Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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