she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
