nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
