Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
