She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
there was a trapeze. enough said
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
