hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
