Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
