i may or may not be watching the land before time
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
