So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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