Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
