a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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