let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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