seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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