Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
