like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
