and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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