Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
there's paper in my vomit.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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