I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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