shes about as inviting as chlamydia
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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