Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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