i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
