I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
