Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
