I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
