even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
