Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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